Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
