Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
