i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
