thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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