If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
