No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
