Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
