I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
