After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
