Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
