Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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