So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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