I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
