i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just pee around me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
