yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
