I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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