He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
