I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
