I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
