Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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