then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So much rum. So many feels.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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