All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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