Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
