Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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