you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
