just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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