he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I showed him my bush... on skype.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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