my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
