My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
