you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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