next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
