And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
