420 ftw
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
