I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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