Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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