he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
