No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
