just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
