I showed him my bush... on skype.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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