I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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