I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
