your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
