I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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