thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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