Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
