We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
