I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You took a bar mat shot.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
