I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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