I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
