I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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