I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
